Nightmares vs. Night Terrors

 If your child has ever woken up crying, screaming, or looking absolutely terrified in the middle of the night, you’re not alone. Many parents have been there—stumbling into their child’s room, heart racing, trying to figure out what’s wrong.

Maybe your toddler wakes up crying for you, telling you about a scary dream they had. Or maybe you’ve experienced something even more unsettling—your child sitting up, screaming, eyes wide open, but completely unresponsive. It’s scary, confusing, and exhausting, especially when it starts happening night after night.

The good news? You are not alone, and there are ways to handle it. Understanding the difference between nightmares and night terrors can help you know exactly what’s happening, what to do in the moment, and how to help your child sleep more peacefully.

And if you're feeling overwhelmed and need a personalized sleep plan for your child, let's talk. I can help you create a step-by-step plan that works for your family.

Nightmares: When Fear Feels Real

Nightmares are bad dreams that feel real enough to wake a child up in distress. They happen during REM sleep, which occurs in the second half of the night (after midnight). These dreams can be vivid and intense, making it hard for a child to fall back asleep without reassurance.

Signs of a Nightmare:

• Happens after midnight, when REM sleep is most active.
• The child fully wakes up, crying or calling for a parent.
• They remember the dream and may be able to describe it.
• They feel scared and often need comfort to go back to sleep.

Many parents think nightmares can happen at any age, but they actually start around age two—when a child’s imagination and creativity begin to develop. Before this stage, babies and younger toddlers do not experience nightmares because they have not yet developed the ability to dream in a complex way.

If your child wakes up at 1:00 AM, 2:00 AM, or 3:00 AM, crying about something specific—spiders, monsters, falling, being lost—it is likely a nightmare. 

Why Do Nightmares Happen?

Nightmares are a natural part of childhood, but certain things can increase the chances of them happening:

• Big life changes (starting school, moving, a new sibling).
• Exposure to scary content, even in seemingly harmless cartoons or books.
• Stress or anxiety, even if it seems minor to adults.
• Being overtired or having an irregular sleep schedule. 

Fear of the dark often starts around 2-2.5 years old. As a toddler’s imagination develops, the line between fantasy and reality blurs, leading to new fears. If your child is suddenly afraid of shadows, dark corners, or unfamiliar shapes at bedtime, this is completely normal and part of their cognitive growth.

How to Help When Your Child Has a Nightmare

When your child wakes up crying from a nightmare, the most important thing is to validate their feelings.

Instead of saying:

• “There are no monsters. Go back to sleep.”

Try:

• “That was a scary dream. I know it felt real, but you are safe. Mommy/Daddy is here.”
• “Your room is a safe place. Let’s take a deep breath together.”

📚 Helpful Books for Nightmares:

1. Good Night, Body
2. There's a Nightmare in My Closet
3. What Was I Scared Of?
4. When I Feel Scared

Preventing Nightmares

• Keep a calming bedtime routine. Avoid overly exciting activities right before bed.
• Limit screens before bedtime. Ideally, stop screens by 4:00 PM. Watching scary things—whether in books, on screens, or even overhearing background conversations—can contribute to nighttime fears and nightmares. Even characters like the Grinch or Disney villains may seem harmless to us but can be overwhelming for a toddler’s growing imagination. Reducing screen time, especially before bed, can help prevent nightmares.
• Instead of “Monster Spray,” which can reinforce the idea that something scary exists, try showing your child how safe their room is. Look at shadows together and explain what they really are. Check the closet and under the bed to reassure them, helping them understand that their space is safe.
• Create a safe sleep environment. Use a soft nightlight and let them sleep with a comfort object. A breathing plush toy like Soothe'n Snuggle Otter can help provide extra comfort.
• Encourage positive thoughts before bed. Have your child think of happy things they want to dream about.

Night Terrors

Night terrors are completely different from nightmares, and they can be terrifying for parents. Unlike nightmares, where a child wakes up scared and wants comfort, night terrors occur during deep non-REM sleep and leave a child inconsolable, even when a parent is right there.

Signs of a Night Terror:

• Happens within the first 2-3 hours after bedtime (before midnight).
• The child screams, thrashes, or appears terrified, but is still asleep.
• They do not recognize you and may push you away.
• They have no memory of it the next morning.

• Night terrors are much more distressing for parents than for children. The child is completely unaware of what’s happening and will not remember the episode. Keeping them safe, rather than trying to wake them, is the best response.

How to Handle a Night Terror

As difficult as it is, the best thing to do during a night terror is not to intervene. Trying to wake your child up can actually make it worse.

Instead:

• Stay nearby to ensure their safety.
• Let the episode pass on its own. Most night terrors last 10-20 minutes.
• Once it ends, gently guide them back to bed.

To help regulate your child’s sleep cycles and prevent overtiredness, a red light nightlight like Hatch Rest+ can help signal the body that it’s time for deep, restful sleep.

Nightmares vs. Night Terrors: Key Differences

You Are Not Alone

It is exhausting to be woken up night after night by a child struggling with nightmares or night terrors. Many parents go through this, and it will get better.

By creating a consistent bedtime routine, ensuring adequate sleep, and using helpful tools, you can make nights smoother for both your child and yourself. If episodes are frequent and disruptive, don’t hesitate to reach out to a pediatrician or sleep specialist for support.

And if you're struggling with your child's sleep and need a personalized sleep plan, let's talk. I can help you create a customized plan to get your child sleeping through the night and give you peace of mind.

A well-rested child is a happier child. Making small adjustments to sleep schedules, nighttime routines, and bedtime habits can dramatically reduce night wakings, fears, and disruptions. If you need step-by-step guidance on sleep training, overcoming bedtime struggles, or helping your child feel safe at night, let’s work together to find a solution tailored to your family.

You are doing an incredible job, even on the hardest nights. This phase won’t last forever, and soon, your child will be sleeping peacefully once again.